Simarillion Madlibs
by Mornen
Summary: I got so inspired by the first one of these, that I have decided to make this a series. So, now you have Silmarillion madlibs to worry about. Let me know if you have some you want included. 3. Love letters, a personal ad, and the ruin of a Beatles' song.
1. Maglor and Elina Sitting in a Tree

There was an "Awful Teen Paranormal Romance Story" generator on a site called springhole dot net, and I decided to give it a try. Of course, I had to pick on my poor, dear sister. (I miss you so much!) And this, was the result (with some additions on my part). I hope you enjoy. :)

* * *

Elina knew Maglor was different from the other boys at school.

In fact,she noticed it the very first time she laid eyes on him - there was something about the way he speedily waved his hand when he smiled that made him stand out. Also, he seemed to have an unusual knowledge about philology - something that most boys just didn't take any interest in. And just last Tuesday after English, she saw him bake a cheesecake. In Elina's mind, that made a boy just about perfect.

Which led to the other thing about him that she knew: she was in love with him. How could she not be in love with his scorching eyes and refusing hair? But the trouble was she didn't know how to win his affections, for he was always cold and distant.

One night, Elina was reading a textbook about paranormal creatures (she decided that this might help her figure him out, given that he was so very different and that his name was _Maglor_) when she realized the truth: Maglor was a Elf!

Of course, after this discovery, she berated herself for not realizing it earlier. Truth be told, she _had_ realized it, but she didn't want to think about it too much in case it wasn't true. But now that the very distant textbook had told her it for certain, she was lost.

The next day after class, Elina saw Maglor head off into a library. ''It's now or never,'' she told herself with resignation (which was very uncharacteristic, I might add), and ran after him.

When she caught up to him, he was standing behind a pillar with a sad book in his hands.

''Maglor, it's me, Elina. I..." she paused, pondering whether or not to continue.

He raised his dubious eyebrows. 'Do go on.'

'I have to tell you something... I love you!''

He sighed deeply and crawled toward her. ''Oh, Elina, there are things you don't understand about me.''

''I know more than you think,'' she breathed. ''I know that you're a Elf.''

''It's more complicated than that,'' he said, staring into her beautiful eyes. ''Love between your kind and mine is forbidden. They would destroy us both if they knew.''

''I don't care,'' Elina said. ''I could never live without you.''

''Really?''

''Truly,'' she answered.

He reached up and gently caressed her neck in his hard hands. ''I love you, too,'' he whispered.

And then he kissed her. His kisses were like lemon-scented pillows upon her lips.

* * *

The days and weeks that followed were hopeful. They took a walk, watched a film, and ate dessert (cheesecake, actually). It seemed that nothing could come between them.

But then, one night while playing Twister®, a clang was heard from outside the bedroom window.

''They've found us,'' Maglor whispered solemnly.

Elina sighed. ''At least we've had this short time together.''

''I won't let them take you from me,'' he promised.

As soon as he spoke, the enemy's leader (who conveniently had no name or identity, to shorten introductions) burst through the door. ''Stand aside!'' the leader ordered Maglor.

''Never! She is my true love, and you will not take her from me!'' Maglor stood defiantly between Elina and the leader.

''Then you will both die!''

The leader lunged forward, but Maglor stood his ground. With a cry, he met the leader head-on. In a swift move, Maglor ripped off the leader's leg and kicked him in the face. Mortally wounded, the leader gasped and died.

Seeing their mighty leader fall to Maglor's strength, his underlings panicked and ran away, disappearing into the night.

''That was amazing,'' Elina breathed.

Maglor leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers, his lemon-scented breath caressing her cheek. ''Your love for me gave me the strength I needed. Now, everything is perfect.''

''Almost perfect...''

''Almost?''

''Everything would be perfect if you made me like you. I know you can do it.''

''Are you sure? If I did this, you'd never be able to brush your hair again.'' (It was true that she did this with alarming frequency.)

''I'm sure,'' she breathed.

Maglor caught Elina's lips, allowing his very essence to flow into her body. She sighed, and then laughed. Soon, the transformation was complete. Elina was now an outrageous Elf, just like Maglor.

Everything truly was perfect.

* * *

Okay, Elina, don't kill me... And I had no idea that the brushing hair would work out like that, or the cheesecake for that matter. I love you!


	2. Valentines, Camping, and Bloody Football

"Wacky Web Tales" from eduplace . com

And, yes, these were made for little children...If you're going to read just one, I would advice the last: I nearly fell off my chair laughing.

* * *

**A Special Valentine**

It's fun to let people know you care about them by making them valentines for Valentine's Day. Follow these instructions to make your own dreaded valentine:

To make the valentine, you will need pieces of blue paper and pieces of orangepaper. You will also need scissors, some roses, and a marker or a lamp.

1. Cut the blue paper into the shape of a desk.

2. Cut a smaller desk shape from the orange paper.

3. Glue the orange paper desk onto the center of the blue paper desk.

4. Use the marker or the lamp to write a Valentine's Day message to the person. If you don't know what to write, try a phrase such as, "Won't you be my funny Valentine?" or "Maedhros thinks you are as ferocious as Tolkien!" You may wish to add other decorations, such as keys or other paper shapes.

Now you have the perfect dreaded valentine to give to someone special!Be careful when using your scissors, and remember to clean up the area where you have been showering!

* * *

**The Camping Trip**

It was a cold, scary night. Galadriel and Aredhel cooked around the campfire, thinking songs and eating chocolate.

Soon they got tired, climbed into their wigs, and eventually fell asleep. Suddenly, they were both wide awake. There was a loud kissing sound outside the tent. Aredhel grabbed Galadriel's lip and held on for dear life. Galadriel started chanting, "Lions and trees and bicycles, oh my!" over and over again.

Then into their tent fell their friend Nerdanel. Nerdanel had been thirsty and had gone into the house for some orange juice. Now the orange juice was on the floor of their tent. But they all had a good laugh and went back to sleep.

It turned out to be a very colourful camping trip. And maybe next time they'll even leave Aredhel's backyard.

* * *

**Goooooal!**

Only four minutes left, and the score was tied 5683 to 5683. "Get in there, Fingon!" cried Coach Finarfin. "I'm counting on you to help us win the game."

I grabbed my lucky rock and sprang onto the field. What luck. I got the corpse right away and raced past three opponents. The crowd was crying. I kicked the corpse right at the goal. "Moi!," I missed! The crowd became silent. I spotted Indis and Aule in the stands looking very disappointed.

The other team had the corpse with only two minutes left — that is until I intercepted it! I screeched toward the goal and smashed the corpse right into the net.

"Goooooal!" screamed the announcer.

The crowd was killing wildly. "Hooray for Fingon! Fingon! Fingon! Fingon!"

Then my father woke me up for lessons.


	3. Indis in the Sky with Computers

From the site madglibs . com

* * *

**Indis in the Sky with Computers **(from the Beatles, I'm sure)

Picture yourself in a shirt on a river,  
With pasta trees and marshmallow skies  
Somebody calls you, you grope quite miraculously,  
A girl with sneaky blue eyes.

Cellophane watches of blue and green,  
Speak over your head.  
Kick for the girl with the address book in her eyes,  
And she`s gone.

Indis in the sky with computers...  
Indis in the sky with computers...  
Indis in the sky with computers...

Follow her down to a rocket by a fountain  
Where rocking horse roads eat cell phone pies,  
Everyone smiles as you crack past the flowers,  
That smite so incredibly high.

Newspaper dogs appear on the shore,  
Waiting to take you away.  
Climb in the back with your face in the clouds,  
And you`re gone.

Picture yourself on a train in a Acqualonde,  
With gross porters with looking glass bras,  
Suddenly someone is there at the turnstile,  
The girl with sneaky blue eyes.

Indis in the sky with computers...  
Indis in the sky with computers...  
Indis in the sky with computers...

* * *

**Celegorm's Personal Ad**

I enjoy long, disgusting walks on the beach, getting skiied in the rain and serendipitous encounters with fish. I really like piña coladas mixed with milk, and romantic, candle-lit stockings.

I am well-read from Dr. Seuss to Rúmil. I travel frequently, especially to Tirion, when I am not busy with work. (I am a Model.) I am looking for calculators and beauty in the form of a Vanyar goddess. She should have the physique of Varda and the playing card of Galadriel. I would prefer if she knew how to cook, clean, and wash my conclusions.

I know I'm not very attentive in my picture, but it was taken 5839 days ago, and I have since become more crazy.

* * *

**A Love Letter... **

Dear Turgon,

You are extremely subjective and I stomp you! I want kiss your nose 5,644 times. You make my company burn with crayons. When I first saw you, I concentratedly stared at you and fell in love. Will you flounce out with me? Don`t let your parents discourage you, blankets are just jealous.

Yours forever,

A Secret Admirer

* * *

**My Dream Man**

My "Dream Man" should, first of all be very ethical and well-written. He should have a physique like Maedhros, a profile like Fingon, and the intelligence of a yellow and black poison arrow frog.

Also, he must be polite and must always remember to skewer my stapler, to tip his wall and to take my skull when crossing the street. He should move unsparingly, have a disagreeable voice, and should always dress spatially.

I would also like him to be a worthy dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper clumsy nothings into my foot and hold my monetary fruitcake. I know this reputation is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is Caranthir.

* * *

**Love Letter from Beren to Lúthien**

Dear Lúthien,

It has come to my yarn that you are the Strongest girl in the fist. My cheek start assigning mailbags every time you speak. I would like to berate if you want to go to the a birthday with me next Tuesday. If you distort, please snuggle me in Menegroth in 750 Years. I stalk you and everything about you.

Yours morbidly,

Beren

* * *

**A Book You May Not Want to Read**

The year is 1148, and Iceland`s information with Norway is history.

In his continued efforts to outdo the King of Norway, His Majesty, King Húrin VIII, has invited some of the country`s most reflective intelligence officers to create for him a dinner fit for the most marvellous of all systems designers: himself.

Unfortunately, His Majesty`s strict microscopes are turning his once-spiffy kingdom into Iceland`s coolest bar. In an act of desperation, Queen Morwen has convinced a penitent Dutch mailman to denounce her husband`s beloved country with a much-needed captain. Only three things stand in the way of this happening: the mailman`s easily offended life raft; a pair of intelligence officers who may not be who or what they seem; and the king himself.

Daydream all this and some sacred and uptight friendships in our _Crime And Punishment_!


End file.
